I want, you want ...
Conflict: a natural order of the species. We want things, and we can't all have them. Whenever I see a religious system that is supposed to get rid of conflict, I laugh. If we could get beyond conflict, we wouldn't be human anymore. It might be better, but it wouldn't be human.
So getting beyond conflict ain't bloody likely. There's always going to be the problem of people wanting what they can't have. So how do we conflict without warring? I don't have an easy answer to this. I don't think there is one. I do think that the most important thing that we as a species need to stop doing, though, is demonizing each other. It's easy to declare a conflict because the other person isn't human (or the same kind of human, or whatever you classify yourself as). It's harder to be honest that you simply want the same thing. And it's almost impossible to think about which person actually deserves the object (or whatever) more. But we should.
Questions:
What is worth striving for? What isn't? Well, clearly anything needed for survival is worth it. survival good. After that, it's really a cost-benefit analysis .. is it worth what I need to go through to get this object? If it's a child's toy for Christmas, probably not. If it's something you've wanted all your life, it's probably worth it.
How do I handle conflict with grace and dignity? Poorly. :) Conflict scares me. I tend to simply withdraw, and if I can't withdraw, I panic. I try, though, to deal with the issues rather than the people, and to see all sides of the question. I don't always succeed, but I do try.
How do I see the things I'm in conflict with? As very, very scary. So I try to avoid it when I can. I try to see conflict as natural, but it scares me. Anger in general scares me, my own and others. I don't know how to handle it, so I avoid it. But I try to see conflict as natural and an opportunity. Some day, maybe I'll make it. But I do my best to always see the people I'm dealing with as actual people. Win or lose, I don't want to demonize people. That's just not healthy to anyone.
So getting beyond conflict ain't bloody likely. There's always going to be the problem of people wanting what they can't have. So how do we conflict without warring? I don't have an easy answer to this. I don't think there is one. I do think that the most important thing that we as a species need to stop doing, though, is demonizing each other. It's easy to declare a conflict because the other person isn't human (or the same kind of human, or whatever you classify yourself as). It's harder to be honest that you simply want the same thing. And it's almost impossible to think about which person actually deserves the object (or whatever) more. But we should.
Questions:
What is worth striving for? What isn't? Well, clearly anything needed for survival is worth it. survival good. After that, it's really a cost-benefit analysis .. is it worth what I need to go through to get this object? If it's a child's toy for Christmas, probably not. If it's something you've wanted all your life, it's probably worth it.
How do I handle conflict with grace and dignity? Poorly. :) Conflict scares me. I tend to simply withdraw, and if I can't withdraw, I panic. I try, though, to deal with the issues rather than the people, and to see all sides of the question. I don't always succeed, but I do try.
How do I see the things I'm in conflict with? As very, very scary. So I try to avoid it when I can. I try to see conflict as natural, but it scares me. Anger in general scares me, my own and others. I don't know how to handle it, so I avoid it. But I try to see conflict as natural and an opportunity. Some day, maybe I'll make it. But I do my best to always see the people I'm dealing with as actual people. Win or lose, I don't want to demonize people. That's just not healthy to anyone.
posted by Vieva | 9:25 AM
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