Hell is other people .....
Okay, we all know who the people are that drive us crazy. So now what?
My biggest problems were in the dorms .. and I'm embarrassed to say, I pretty much did nothing about it. I didn't know what to do, and I didn't want to be "the bad guy" either. There really isn't a polite way to tell someone they're annoying the hell out of you, after all. So I just dealt with it. Were I to be in that situation now, I think I'd be a lot less willing to just shut up about things.
I've had a lot of people see me as compassionate and think that means I'm a doormat. There's really not a lot of acceptance for compassion in our society. It makes people look weak. So I've had the problem of people using my compassion, and myself, without seeing me as a person with my own feelings.
Questions:
What happens when you don't see the other person as Divine? You treat them badly, because they're less than you are. Sometimes you even see them as inhuman. It can result in the worst of excesses against other people, especially when one country sees another country as inhuman and not part of the Divine. It cannot be said enough. We are ALL human. We are ALL part of the Divine. There are NO exceptions, not even for that guy/country/ethnicity.
I want to treat people well. Everyone is part of the Divine, and all should be treated as holy. In reality, I have my good days and my bad days like everyone else. I try very hard to be honest with people without being rude, though. (honesty is no excuse for rudeness!) We are all part of the Divine. Treat people with the respect you want them to give you.
How can you make peace with people that irritate without compromising yourself? First rule is to figure out what isn't negotiable. Perhaps the smoking is non-negotiable, but you don't care that much about the music playing. See if there's some way to build a compromise with the other person that doesn't break either person's core desires. There's usually room in the middle, if you don't hold to positions simply because they're there. Only hold to the important ones. Everything else is up for grabs. After all, if you're not willing to bend, the other person won't either.
My biggest problems were in the dorms .. and I'm embarrassed to say, I pretty much did nothing about it. I didn't know what to do, and I didn't want to be "the bad guy" either. There really isn't a polite way to tell someone they're annoying the hell out of you, after all. So I just dealt with it. Were I to be in that situation now, I think I'd be a lot less willing to just shut up about things.
I've had a lot of people see me as compassionate and think that means I'm a doormat. There's really not a lot of acceptance for compassion in our society. It makes people look weak. So I've had the problem of people using my compassion, and myself, without seeing me as a person with my own feelings.
Questions:
What happens when you don't see the other person as Divine? You treat them badly, because they're less than you are. Sometimes you even see them as inhuman. It can result in the worst of excesses against other people, especially when one country sees another country as inhuman and not part of the Divine. It cannot be said enough. We are ALL human. We are ALL part of the Divine. There are NO exceptions, not even for that guy/country/ethnicity.
I want to treat people well. Everyone is part of the Divine, and all should be treated as holy. In reality, I have my good days and my bad days like everyone else. I try very hard to be honest with people without being rude, though. (honesty is no excuse for rudeness!) We are all part of the Divine. Treat people with the respect you want them to give you.
How can you make peace with people that irritate without compromising yourself? First rule is to figure out what isn't negotiable. Perhaps the smoking is non-negotiable, but you don't care that much about the music playing. See if there's some way to build a compromise with the other person that doesn't break either person's core desires. There's usually room in the middle, if you don't hold to positions simply because they're there. Only hold to the important ones. Everything else is up for grabs. After all, if you're not willing to bend, the other person won't either.
posted by Vieva | 10:03 AM
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