Death, Life, and living
Believe it or not, I do not fear death. I fear dying at times, and I fear dying with so much undone. I have taken on a task that I know will never be complete in my lifetime, and that is writing this religion down. And of course I fear the death of my loved ones, because life would be so much less rich without them. But my own death does not scare me. It will come when it comes, and in the meantime, I have too much work to do to worry over something I cannot change.
This doesn't mean I'm careless, of course. I don't want to get hit by a car or die of skin cancer or any of the other things carelessness can cause. And I don't want my loved ones to miss me, either. But I can't live worried about an afterlife when there's so much to do in this life. Whatever afterlife there is (and I really only expect to loose my ego, my self-ness, and become again a part of the Divine), it will be there when I get there.
Questions:
What do I do in fear of death? Well, I don't play in traffic. :) But really, other than normal safety things, I don't live my life in fear of death. I'm much more afraid of sickness, of having more pain. And I feel like I'm weak when I say that, because people can and do survive and thrive with much worse health, but I still fear being sicker. So for things like my diet, even if in the long term it sets me up for a heart attack, I will eat this way anyway because it makes life so much more tolerable in day to day life.
What blessing has mortality brought to my life? I think that being able to accept that I won't ever be able to get everything in my life done still leaves me with more motivation to get as much done as I can. There will come a time when there is nothing left but my words; so I need to make certain the words I leave are the right ones.
How can we live without certainty? I don't think I could live with certainty. Or at least, I would not be me if I knew the time of my death. It would be hard to take threats seriously if I knew they couldn't kill me. And if the time was soon, I might give up and get nothing done instead of getting done as much as I could in life. As life is, the lack of knowledge pushes me to get as much done as I can while still planning for tomorrow.
There is no life, no push, without the eventuality of death to give us impetus. And there is no new life without death to mke room. I can accept that I will die one day for the joy that my baby brings me. If it's all or nothing, I will take both and count myself lucky in the bargain.
This doesn't mean I'm careless, of course. I don't want to get hit by a car or die of skin cancer or any of the other things carelessness can cause. And I don't want my loved ones to miss me, either. But I can't live worried about an afterlife when there's so much to do in this life. Whatever afterlife there is (and I really only expect to loose my ego, my self-ness, and become again a part of the Divine), it will be there when I get there.
Questions:
What do I do in fear of death? Well, I don't play in traffic. :) But really, other than normal safety things, I don't live my life in fear of death. I'm much more afraid of sickness, of having more pain. And I feel like I'm weak when I say that, because people can and do survive and thrive with much worse health, but I still fear being sicker. So for things like my diet, even if in the long term it sets me up for a heart attack, I will eat this way anyway because it makes life so much more tolerable in day to day life.
What blessing has mortality brought to my life? I think that being able to accept that I won't ever be able to get everything in my life done still leaves me with more motivation to get as much done as I can. There will come a time when there is nothing left but my words; so I need to make certain the words I leave are the right ones.
How can we live without certainty? I don't think I could live with certainty. Or at least, I would not be me if I knew the time of my death. It would be hard to take threats seriously if I knew they couldn't kill me. And if the time was soon, I might give up and get nothing done instead of getting done as much as I could in life. As life is, the lack of knowledge pushes me to get as much done as I can while still planning for tomorrow.
There is no life, no push, without the eventuality of death to give us impetus. And there is no new life without death to mke room. I can accept that I will die one day for the joy that my baby brings me. If it's all or nothing, I will take both and count myself lucky in the bargain.
posted by Vieva | 11:09 AM
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