Thinking Twice ...

This essay goes slightly against human nature. We like to use mental shortcuts, and stereotypes and prejudgements work with the way we think. It takes work to reassess, to take a step back and think about what we feel.

I have a hard time taking seriously anyone that's dressed in certain ways .. especially a man with his underwear showing over his pants. (seriously, what's WITH that?). I can't look at someone dressed that way and take him seriously .. which is too bad. They might have something very meaningful to say, to think .. I'm dismissing, with that, most boys under the age of twenty in certain areas. That's not fair to me or to them. And that's a fairly minor issue, too. (it's not like I teach in a school where this is a common fashion, or are otherwise thrown into contact with people dressed this way regularly and need to deal with them).

I think it's important to know how it is we come across, but I think it's also important to try to come across well. When you know that how you come across affects people, it's reasonable to try and be careful about how you come across. I don't go crazy about this, but I do try to make certain I don't look crazy when I leave the house. My hair is combed and looks somewhat normal, my clothing isn't outragous (exceptions made for days when I'm walking with the baby to get him to calm down. Then I look crazy, because I don't care about ANYTHING but getting my baby quiet!) Give people a chance to have that second thought.

Questions:
Do I see others as they are or as I think they are? Well, at first I have nothing but my own preconceptions. But I try very hard to not hold to those, to let people change my ideas both for worse (which is, unfortunately, easy), but also for the better. I go on the assumption that I don't know a person as much as I can, and let new information in. Sometimes it even works.

Negative stereotypes: ... that's a hard one. After all, when you hold them, they look reasonable, right? The big thing for be is things that look "stupid", whatever stupid is to me at the time. However, I try to not apply "stupid" in one area to the person in general, but instead assume they simply are bothering me in one area.

Do I assume the negative, and if so, why? I really don't know. It depends on my mood, of course: the more angry and hurt I am, the more I expect things to get worse. But I still want to try and keep a positive attitude. People give us what we expect of them .. go into a situation expecting the worst, and that's exactly what you'll get. (not to say all problems can be resolved with attitude .. but it never hurts, and can often help!)