Ooh, Baby!
I really hate the idea that emotion is license. I think it's one of the most dangerous ideas that people have. (ranks up there with "I can't judge another's actions ever" and "everything is equally good").
One of the emotions most used as license, and most exploited, is lust. If there's a way to make something sexy, it's the way to go, regardless of the effects. (try being a woman and looking for professional and not-sexy. It's nearly impossible. Even when you refuse to play the hobbleskirt-and-heel game (how do people move in those things?) women are still dressed as sex appeal, not as attractive but not interested. Either that or I'm totally shopping in the wrong places). But it seems like everyone's trying to sell for lust, and if that's not what you want, you're out of luck.
I'm not saying we shouldn't feel lust. Not only is that impossible, but it's unreasonable. After all, I have me a baby .. I say no lust, people are gonna laugh at me. :D I am saying we need to be responsible with it. Don't fantasize about your officemate, especially if either of you are married. Don't get hung up on celebrities and think that it's reality. Be responsible with yourself, and remember that no matter what you feel, that doesn't give you license to act.
Questions:
How is lust appropriate in my life? How is it inappropriate? Well, I'm married and monogamous. Acting on lust towards anyone not my husband would be severely inappropriate. Other people acting in a lustful manner towards me (again, other than my husband) would be both inappropriate and deeply disturbing.
What do I do if I feel attraction towards someone completely inappropriate? I do my best to pretend it never happened. If need be, I avoid the person .. which might not be fair in the short run to that person, but is better for everyone involved. I don't have the right to act on any lustful feelings that are to people other than my husband .. I made a promise, and as long as I'm still married, that promise stands. I also get irritated if I feel someone is trying to evoke lust in me.
How do I react when people try to use lust to sell to me? Mockingly, usually. "Hey, look, there's a pair of boobs trying to sell me something!" I'm as attracted as the next person to the right character on a TV show, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't help sell the show .. but please, I don't need boobs to sell me toothpaste. I'm not going to buy a car because it'll get me women. Or men. Or, really, anything but from point A to point B safely and with good fuel economy. I find the attempt of using lust to sell stuff really irritating. (it doesn't help that with me, they usually miss. more cute geeky men!) But it's inappropriate .. it doesn't work, that toothpaste won't get me men, and to constantly try to sell something with a lie is irritating.
Also: lust grants you no rights over the one you lust after. I want to make that PERFECTLY clear. You lusting after me is your problem. If you have any respect for me at all, don't make it mine. And that goes for ALL instances of lust that is inappropriate .. don't make it the problem of the person you're interested in unless there's some belief it may be reciprocated. And take No for an answer.
One of the emotions most used as license, and most exploited, is lust. If there's a way to make something sexy, it's the way to go, regardless of the effects. (try being a woman and looking for professional and not-sexy. It's nearly impossible. Even when you refuse to play the hobbleskirt-and-heel game (how do people move in those things?) women are still dressed as sex appeal, not as attractive but not interested. Either that or I'm totally shopping in the wrong places). But it seems like everyone's trying to sell for lust, and if that's not what you want, you're out of luck.
I'm not saying we shouldn't feel lust. Not only is that impossible, but it's unreasonable. After all, I have me a baby .. I say no lust, people are gonna laugh at me. :D I am saying we need to be responsible with it. Don't fantasize about your officemate, especially if either of you are married. Don't get hung up on celebrities and think that it's reality. Be responsible with yourself, and remember that no matter what you feel, that doesn't give you license to act.
Questions:
How is lust appropriate in my life? How is it inappropriate? Well, I'm married and monogamous. Acting on lust towards anyone not my husband would be severely inappropriate. Other people acting in a lustful manner towards me (again, other than my husband) would be both inappropriate and deeply disturbing.
What do I do if I feel attraction towards someone completely inappropriate? I do my best to pretend it never happened. If need be, I avoid the person .. which might not be fair in the short run to that person, but is better for everyone involved. I don't have the right to act on any lustful feelings that are to people other than my husband .. I made a promise, and as long as I'm still married, that promise stands. I also get irritated if I feel someone is trying to evoke lust in me.
How do I react when people try to use lust to sell to me? Mockingly, usually. "Hey, look, there's a pair of boobs trying to sell me something!" I'm as attracted as the next person to the right character on a TV show, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't help sell the show .. but please, I don't need boobs to sell me toothpaste. I'm not going to buy a car because it'll get me women. Or men. Or, really, anything but from point A to point B safely and with good fuel economy. I find the attempt of using lust to sell stuff really irritating. (it doesn't help that with me, they usually miss. more cute geeky men!) But it's inappropriate .. it doesn't work, that toothpaste won't get me men, and to constantly try to sell something with a lie is irritating.
Also: lust grants you no rights over the one you lust after. I want to make that PERFECTLY clear. You lusting after me is your problem. If you have any respect for me at all, don't make it mine. And that goes for ALL instances of lust that is inappropriate .. don't make it the problem of the person you're interested in unless there's some belief it may be reciprocated. And take No for an answer.
posted by Vieva | 8:04 AM
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