That which I keep hidden ....
The one thing I've taken out of both Wicca and Jung is the idea of the shadow-self. I found the idea first in Wicca and chased it down, because it's an idea that stuck with me. We do denigrate parts of ourselves, and we do hate that part we denigrate in ourselves when we see it in others.
In my shadow, I think I have issues with anger. (hence using it as an example). I'm never sure how to deal with it, and I'm a little scared of anger, both my own and others. I was reading about anger as a motivator to do things, and felt all smugly superior because I didn't feel that anger. Then I thought about it, because my reaction seemed all out of proportion. And .. I do feel anger. I just squelch it, or deny it, or try to relabel it something else. But that doesn't mean it isn't there .. it means I fear it.
This doesn't mean I want to get more angry. Anger is scary for a reason, and there's no real advantage to being angry. What it does mean is that I need to accept the anger I do have, and find productive ways to channel it and deal with it. Even if that's to decide to not be angry about the issue, I can't do that until I recognize the anger in the first place.
I have a shadow side. We all do. The trick is doing my best to not let it take control over me.
Questions:
What is in my shadow? Did that part. :) I'm sure there's more there, but that's what I'm finding today. (it's a hard question to answer, after all).
Why do I keep them there? What's my advantage? Well, anger scares me. As long as "I don't get angry" I don't have to deal with the fear (I've no idea why it fears me, either. Working on that too). But avoiding the situation completely doesn't work either, because I either let people walk all over me (no good) or I deny the motivation for my own actions (also not good).
I react badly to anger in other people as well. It terrifies me. I don't know how to deal with it or what it does. I don't like the fact that it seems to take people out of control or that it spurs people on past what would be "logical". And that's not a rational reaction either, because anger is useful and helpful at times as well.
But knowing that anger is related to my shadow helps me cope a little more with that anger, because I recognize my reaction is irrational. And that gives me a chance to slow down and think for a moment.
In my shadow, I think I have issues with anger. (hence using it as an example). I'm never sure how to deal with it, and I'm a little scared of anger, both my own and others. I was reading about anger as a motivator to do things, and felt all smugly superior because I didn't feel that anger. Then I thought about it, because my reaction seemed all out of proportion. And .. I do feel anger. I just squelch it, or deny it, or try to relabel it something else. But that doesn't mean it isn't there .. it means I fear it.
This doesn't mean I want to get more angry. Anger is scary for a reason, and there's no real advantage to being angry. What it does mean is that I need to accept the anger I do have, and find productive ways to channel it and deal with it. Even if that's to decide to not be angry about the issue, I can't do that until I recognize the anger in the first place.
I have a shadow side. We all do. The trick is doing my best to not let it take control over me.
Questions:
What is in my shadow? Did that part. :) I'm sure there's more there, but that's what I'm finding today. (it's a hard question to answer, after all).
Why do I keep them there? What's my advantage? Well, anger scares me. As long as "I don't get angry" I don't have to deal with the fear (I've no idea why it fears me, either. Working on that too). But avoiding the situation completely doesn't work either, because I either let people walk all over me (no good) or I deny the motivation for my own actions (also not good).
I react badly to anger in other people as well. It terrifies me. I don't know how to deal with it or what it does. I don't like the fact that it seems to take people out of control or that it spurs people on past what would be "logical". And that's not a rational reaction either, because anger is useful and helpful at times as well.
But knowing that anger is related to my shadow helps me cope a little more with that anger, because I recognize my reaction is irrational. And that gives me a chance to slow down and think for a moment.
posted by Vieva | 8:15 AM
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