Yes, I judge
I wrote this after being irritated at someone saying people shouldn't judge, or perhaps calling me judgemental, or that Pagans are "better" than judging. It's something that crops up regularly, and it never fails to piss me off.
We all agree that we shouldn't trust our wallet with just anyone, for example. I don't know anyone that would trust a random stranger with their housekeys. So, we judge. And that's a good thing.
What do I judge on? I try to judge based on what people say and how they act, and not ephemerals like dress or weight or attractiveness. (that said, my hubby's darn cute, and I have the most adorable baby ever. so there). There are some things I judge on that I'm trying to work on. People that talk about God a lot bother me due to early upbringing, for example. Which is a little embarrassing given what I'm doing here. :)
Questions:
Why do we judge? Because otherwise we have absolutely no useful way to make decisions. If I can't judge based on actions, I might as well use a dartboard to pick political candidates, friends, a spouse .. not a good plan. When shouldn't we judge? When we don't have the information we need and a decision isn't necessary yet. Like, deciding to judge all people of group X. Unless it is a self-chosen group (I freely choose to judge all people in a group of "We Hate People" to not be people I want to associate with!), I shouldn't be quick to judge on association. It's information I can use, but it's not the whole story.
What do I think is appropriate to judge on? I think I answered this already .. what people say and do. If you're a jerk, I get to judge you as such. :)
How do I want to be judged? On my actions and my words, not on things like the fact that I'm a woman, or that I'm short, or things like that. I have no problem being judged on my writing: or at least, I have no problem having my ideas judged where I write about them. I don't want my character judged solely on my fiction.
And I really hate being judged based solely on the fact that I'm female. It happens with some regularity. I will be looked at and dismissed because of my reproductive organs, or because I'm a mother, as though being a mom and a woman completely destroys any brain cells I might have had. I suspect this is a common problem among minorities, and it's offensive. No one has an exclusive lock on intelligence, good ideas, or anything else. So while I don't want to associate with people that look at me and think that way anyway, I still find it offensive that people are so blind as to assume that a woman is somehow lesser. (or even worse, that as a woman I'd be willing to sleep with them just because they're a man. I do NOT think so).
If I can judge, then I can choose who I do and don't want to be associated with. If I can't judge, then I can't choose to get away from creeps that want me for nothing more than my body. What would you choose? (if you choose the body, you've never been chased by a creep). So, yes, I judge. And I'm proud of it.
We all agree that we shouldn't trust our wallet with just anyone, for example. I don't know anyone that would trust a random stranger with their housekeys. So, we judge. And that's a good thing.
What do I judge on? I try to judge based on what people say and how they act, and not ephemerals like dress or weight or attractiveness. (that said, my hubby's darn cute, and I have the most adorable baby ever. so there). There are some things I judge on that I'm trying to work on. People that talk about God a lot bother me due to early upbringing, for example. Which is a little embarrassing given what I'm doing here. :)
Questions:
Why do we judge? Because otherwise we have absolutely no useful way to make decisions. If I can't judge based on actions, I might as well use a dartboard to pick political candidates, friends, a spouse .. not a good plan. When shouldn't we judge? When we don't have the information we need and a decision isn't necessary yet. Like, deciding to judge all people of group X. Unless it is a self-chosen group (I freely choose to judge all people in a group of "We Hate People" to not be people I want to associate with!), I shouldn't be quick to judge on association. It's information I can use, but it's not the whole story.
What do I think is appropriate to judge on? I think I answered this already .. what people say and do. If you're a jerk, I get to judge you as such. :)
How do I want to be judged? On my actions and my words, not on things like the fact that I'm a woman, or that I'm short, or things like that. I have no problem being judged on my writing: or at least, I have no problem having my ideas judged where I write about them. I don't want my character judged solely on my fiction.
And I really hate being judged based solely on the fact that I'm female. It happens with some regularity. I will be looked at and dismissed because of my reproductive organs, or because I'm a mother, as though being a mom and a woman completely destroys any brain cells I might have had. I suspect this is a common problem among minorities, and it's offensive. No one has an exclusive lock on intelligence, good ideas, or anything else. So while I don't want to associate with people that look at me and think that way anyway, I still find it offensive that people are so blind as to assume that a woman is somehow lesser. (or even worse, that as a woman I'd be willing to sleep with them just because they're a man. I do NOT think so).
If I can judge, then I can choose who I do and don't want to be associated with. If I can't judge, then I can't choose to get away from creeps that want me for nothing more than my body. What would you choose? (if you choose the body, you've never been chased by a creep). So, yes, I judge. And I'm proud of it.
posted by Vieva | 9:22 AM
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