I destroy myself, does anyone care?
I have problems with this. I do things that aggravate my wrists even though I already have carpal tunnel syndrome, for example. I also have diet issues .. my stomach has a lot of problems, so things that get me through day to day are probably very bad for me long term. My diet is fairly high-fat, which isn't good long-term. (on the other hand, if I don't get enough fats I feel very sick in the short term, and that's no good either).
We tend, however, to ignore what our behaviors do to the people around us. I knew someone that would routinely get drunk and high. And he drove. As far as I know, he never got into any accidents this way. He never hurt anyone. But I was waiting for that phone call, the entire time I knew him, of finding out he'd either been arrested or had killed himself. Or, worse to me, that his roommates had gotten arrested because he had illegal things in the house.
I have the right to do whatever I want to myself. I make the choices and I live with them, and I think that's reasonable. However, I don't have a moral right, necessarily. What I do affects the people around me. If I were, for example, to commit suicide or run away or something, that would affect my child, my husband, my parents .. the readers of this blog, the readers of my online novel, and everyone else that I come in contact with regularly. Nothing happens in isolation. If I abuse myself, I am abusing the people around me.
Questions:
In what way am I self-destrucive? Mostly, my eating habits. I do what I have to to get through the day, but I don't really think about my food or worry about having a properly balanced diet, and I should. I have a baby now, and I need to be in the best possible health to take care of him, if nothing else. (also, since I'm still nursing, I'm eating for two, which makes it even more important). As far as the why .. it's a combination of laziness and stomach problems. I'm going to do what I need to to get through the day long before I worry about what I'm going to do when I'm 50, because if life is miserable, what's the point of living it longer?
How do my habits affect other people? Well, I'm the cook in this family, so what I eat, everyone eats. If I cook junky food, three people are eating it, not just me. (baby so far secondhand, but he'll be eating tablefood soon enough). If I make fatty food, I'm giving it to everyone in the family. It's never just me. As far as how it affects the Divine: if I give myself a heart attack, I'm not going to get much writing done, am I?
How have I been affected by others? I already mentioned the friend that I was convinced was going to kill himself or someone else with his drug use. I had other friends that would engage in behavior that didn't match what they said they wanted to do, and then would get mad at me when I pointed that out. I've seen a number of people do similar things on a smaller scale. We love our self-destructive habits, that's often why we do them. They're our excuse, our escape. But that doesn't make them good, and it doesn't make them right.
We tend, however, to ignore what our behaviors do to the people around us. I knew someone that would routinely get drunk and high. And he drove. As far as I know, he never got into any accidents this way. He never hurt anyone. But I was waiting for that phone call, the entire time I knew him, of finding out he'd either been arrested or had killed himself. Or, worse to me, that his roommates had gotten arrested because he had illegal things in the house.
I have the right to do whatever I want to myself. I make the choices and I live with them, and I think that's reasonable. However, I don't have a moral right, necessarily. What I do affects the people around me. If I were, for example, to commit suicide or run away or something, that would affect my child, my husband, my parents .. the readers of this blog, the readers of my online novel, and everyone else that I come in contact with regularly. Nothing happens in isolation. If I abuse myself, I am abusing the people around me.
Questions:
In what way am I self-destrucive? Mostly, my eating habits. I do what I have to to get through the day, but I don't really think about my food or worry about having a properly balanced diet, and I should. I have a baby now, and I need to be in the best possible health to take care of him, if nothing else. (also, since I'm still nursing, I'm eating for two, which makes it even more important). As far as the why .. it's a combination of laziness and stomach problems. I'm going to do what I need to to get through the day long before I worry about what I'm going to do when I'm 50, because if life is miserable, what's the point of living it longer?
How do my habits affect other people? Well, I'm the cook in this family, so what I eat, everyone eats. If I cook junky food, three people are eating it, not just me. (baby so far secondhand, but he'll be eating tablefood soon enough). If I make fatty food, I'm giving it to everyone in the family. It's never just me. As far as how it affects the Divine: if I give myself a heart attack, I'm not going to get much writing done, am I?
How have I been affected by others? I already mentioned the friend that I was convinced was going to kill himself or someone else with his drug use. I had other friends that would engage in behavior that didn't match what they said they wanted to do, and then would get mad at me when I pointed that out. I've seen a number of people do similar things on a smaller scale. We love our self-destructive habits, that's often why we do them. They're our excuse, our escape. But that doesn't make them good, and it doesn't make them right.
posted by Vieva | 9:35 AM
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